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When Yami Met Sally/Transcript
Cast (In order of appearance): Joey, Téa, Yugi, Bakura, Tristan, Yami, Kaiba, Bandit Keith, Kemo Date: November 08, 2006 Running Time: 6:27 Transcript Intro YAMI: You're watching Yu-Gi-Oh! When you could be outside doing something else! Outside JOEY: Finally! Fresh air! I love the smell of card games in the morning! TÉA: Look, guys, we're right outside Pegasus's castle! JOEY: Now we just gotta win the prize money! And then I can buy some new friends. YUGI: What about your sister, Joey? JOEY: Yeah, I can buy a new sister too! TÉA: I'm glad Bakura's gay, otherwise we never would have gotten out of that cave. BAKURA (holding his gaydar, which appears to be pointing up, towards him): Oh, so just because I have a gaydar, you automatically assume I'm gay? Bloody tart. Title sequence YUGI: Hey Téa, remember the time we became friends? TÉA: No, but I do remember the 4Kids version. Flashback to Téa's restaurant she used to work in TÉA: Welcome to Kentucky Fried McBurger King, where all our meat is freshly slaughtered! (sees Yugi and Joey) TÉA (thinking): Oh shoot, it's those dorks from school! They'll drive away our customers with all their talk of card games. I've got to do something! JOEY: Hey Yug, you know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France? A Royale with Cheese! It's all because of the metric system. YUGI: I wonder what they call the Super Special Awesome Burger? TÉA: Kiss my grits, you geeks! YUGI: Holy cow, I think I'm in love! TÉA: I don't want to be just a waitress my whole life, you know. I'm saving up my money to become a table dancer in New York. JOEY: Hey, that's where my accent used to live. at school TÉA: (voiceover) The next day I found a suspicious note in my locker. NOTE: Dear Téa, we found you a secret dance studio. Please come at once. PS: Bring lots of money so that I can steal it from you. at the "dance studio" TÉA: Well this is just about the worst dance studio ever! (a mugger appears) Hey, are you my dance instructor? MUGGER: Just hand over all your money, girly! TÉA: Screw you man, I'm not paying for lessons! (she bites his arm and gets flung into the wall and knocked out) TÉA (voiceover): I was unconscious for this next part, but fortunately I can still remember it! YAMI: I'm here for my ballet classes. I should warn you, I look damn good in a tutu. MUGGER: Get lost, I'm tryin' to mug this girl. YAMI: You won't like me when I'm angry. Hulk Smash! (mind crushes him) TÉA (voiceover): When I woke up I was staring at the man of my dreams. YAMI: Hey, sweet cheeks, you wanna get off the dance floor? I'm about to shake my money maker. End flashback TÉA: And then we got married and had two beautiful children. YUGI: I'm pretty sure I don't remember that part. Hey Téa, do you still have that waitress uniform? TRISTAN: Hey! Stop developing your characters, we have card games to play! YUGI: Look everyone, some random loser is blocking our path. KAIBA: Ever since you beat me in that first episode, nobody has been able to take me seriously. But that will all change once I defeat you in a children's card game. BAKURA: That Kaiba bloke needs to get shagged. KAIBA: (thinking) I have to beat Yugi if I ever want to see my little brother again. I miss you, Mokuba... The Way We Were plays. Flashback to Mokuba being kidnapped from his home by Kemo, subtitled KIDNAPPING #1 Flashback to Mokuba being kidnapped by Kemo at the Duelist Kingdom, subtitled KIDNAPPING #2 Flashback (well, foward) to Mokuba being kidnapped in the Virtual World in a net, subtitled KIDNAPPING #46 Flash foward to Mokuba being kidnapped by Bakura, subtitled KIDNAPPING #83 Flash foward to Mokuba being kidnapped by a helicopter, subtitled KIDNAPPING #171 Flash foward to Mokuba being kidnapped by Tristan, subtitled KIDNAPPING #2,042 KAIBA: (thinking) Hmm, perhaps I should consider keeping him on a leash. YAMI: I accept your challenge, Kaiba. Kicking your butt never gets old. On the roof KAIBA: Let's play on the roof as a homage to ''Clerks''. We'll use my new Duel Disk system, because I have a hard-on for technology. JOEY: Don't worry Yug, we'll be supporting ya all the way. TRISTAN: Ten bucks on Kaiba! TÉA: Fifty bucks on Kaiba! BAKURA: A hundred quid on Kaiba! Outside the castle KEITH: I've won ten star chips...in America! KEMO: My hair is inviting you to enter the castle! KEITH: Don't mind if I do! (enters the castle) Man, that guy sure likes talking about his hair. KEMO: Man, that guy sure likes talking about America. On the roof KAIBA: You may have beaten me before, Yugi, but this time I have the upper hand. I've placed my faith in the heart of the cards, and without Exodia, you have no chance of overcoming my unstoppable Blue-Eyes White Dragons! YAMI: Yeah, well at least I'm not adopted! KAIBA: What did you just say? YAMI: Sorry, did I touch a nerve? Why don't you run home and cry to mommy? Oh that's right, you don't have one! KAIBA: Yugi, I respect you as a duelist, but if you continue to act like a petulant child then- YAMI: Hey, everybody, look at me! I'm Seto Kaiba! I have a dragon fetish, and I sound like Brock, from Pokémon! Screw the rules, I'm in love with Nurse Joy! KAIBA: That's it, Muto, you're bleeping dead! (draws a card) With this card I'll be able to combine three of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons in order to summon a monster without peer! A monster so powerful that- YAMI: For the love of Ra, just play the damn card already. KAIBA: Fine. Come forth, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon! YAMI: Oh, poopie! JOEY: Get up on the Hydra's back, Yug! YAMI: I activate Asexual Reproduction! Prepare to be completely smothered by my giant hairy balls! Watching from a tower above KEITH: This is almost as exciting as my favourite movie, Pearl Harbor! Those Japanese bastards got what was coming to them...in America! YAMI: I shall fuse my Mammoth Graveyard with your Dragon, causing it to decay from the inside! KAIBA: How the hell did you do that? YAMI: It's called cheating, deal with it! KAIBA: I'd rather die than lose to my arch rival. (steps up onto the edge of the roof) BAKURA: Oh my! If Yugi attacks, the shock waves could send Kaiba flying right off the edge of the castle! KAIBA: Your gay friend is right, Yugi. BAKURA: I'm not gay, I'm just British! YAMI: Dude, don't you think you're overreacting a little? I mean it's just a card game. KAIBA: Card games are serious business. Now unleash your attack, if you have the guts! JOEY: This is awesome! Yugi's gonna kill Kaiba! TRISTAN: I've always dreamed this moment would come! YAMI: Kaiba must die! YUGI: But what would grandpa say? GRANDPA: Yuuugiii... kill that son of a bitch! TÉA: Yugi, no! You can't take this risk! He might survive! YUGI: She's right! We can't! (Yami transforms back into Yugi) Stop! KEITH: I don't believe it! Yugi forfeited the match to Kaiba! Ben Affleck would be ashamed...in America! KAIBA: I knew my emo strategy would pay off. You geeks are so gullible. YUGI: I lost a card game! I no longer have a reason to live! BAKURA: In that case, can I be the main character? YUGI: Hell no! BAKURA: Bugger! End. Beck's "Loser" plays. CAPTION: call it "le super special awesome burger" Stinger: WEEVIL: (as Nappa from Dragon Ball Z) Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level? Noah appears on screen with a Life Point counter reading 9300 REX: (as Vegeta) It's over nine THOOOUUSAAAAND!!!! WEEVIL: WHAT?!?!?! Nine thousand?!? 1x14